According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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