Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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