Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
