I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
