I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
