can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Randomize
