Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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