Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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