She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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