Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
