Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
