Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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