with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
