great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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