I puked a lego.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
