This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
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I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
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You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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