I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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