I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
