Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
