my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
