Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
