i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
