Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
