Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
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Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
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He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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