So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
