Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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