So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
