with your own penis?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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