the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
are you so shy because you have an std?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
