we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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