Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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