You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize