very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
