how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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