You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Im part way to drunk.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
