They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
