New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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