How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
