I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
