how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
