I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I AM VODKA MAN
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
