Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
