Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
