i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
