Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
