How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
