He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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