I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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