I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I seem to have left my pride at pride
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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