never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
