Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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