I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
try to milk me bitch
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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