it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
