VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
