if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
