I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
