Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wish life had little blips of pornography
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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