I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
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I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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