I hope mine doesn't look like that
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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