woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
