I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We just shotgunned beers for America
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
