I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
