she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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