Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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