the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
